Make it work: Make your man feel needed

needed: We all want to be needed. We don’t want that desperate need from that person we don’t care about, but that quiet need by someone who depends upon us because they choose to depend upon us. They are not desperate for us, as in, they don’t need us to survive, instead they need us because they have chosen to depend upon us, and to include us as a necessity in their lives.

Will Wilson via Compfight

The funny thing about singleness is that to survive as a single woman you have to be active. You have to learn how to do so much by yourself and how to be independent. Independent women are attractive to men, because men don’t want to be nagged, and depressed and dragged down by women that cannot fend for themselves, but the irony is that in a relationship, for the relationship to be successful the other person in the relationship must feel needed.

This desire for being needed is so bad that some people remain in dysfunctional relationships just because they feel needed by this person. Men want to be with women who need them to be strong. They feel fulfilled when they are being useful, when they have a goal, and they can pursue that goal – and what better way to use their desire to accomplish goals, but to pursue it in satisfying their woman.

So women, we don’t have to pretend to be weak. Your man (if he’s a real man) knows that you could carry the chair by yourself if you chose to, or you could take the car to the mechanic, or to be washed by yourself if you would like to, but instead you choose to rely on him for that support.

So when in a dating relationship, let him feel needed. Yes you can still keep your independent woman card, but keep it in one of the purses you are no longer using, because if you have a good man, worth keeping, you don’t have to fight for your independence. Instead you’ll enjoy your glorious dependence upon him, while  he basks in his dependence upon you.

Dear God please help us to need healthily and live peacefully. Amen

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Osayi is the Author of Impossible is Stupid (a book about living a fabulous life in every season), and she writes about how you can live a fulfilling life even if things don't turn out the way you expected them to. You can connect with her and find out more -

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